I was reminded this week by Jason how powerful our early childhood memories are and how they affect our lives even as adults. I had an idyllic childhood until around the age of 10 when my Mother’s alcoholism began to impact our family. As I was the baby of the family I was less impacted than my older Sister. I really have no memories until I was around the age of four or five. My first memory is of being yelled at by my Dad for watering the bushes. In those days wine and sherry came in these big dark bottles and I had found some in the garage. I didn’t know what was in them and it looked like water to me so I did what I thought was a good deed. The only catch is that what was in those bottles was kerosene! Nothing ever grew in that garden again. When I think back now that was pretty dangerous to leave kerosene where a four year old could have drunk it instead. They didn’t worry about things like this in the late 50’s, early 60’s.
Another early childhood memory was being abandoned at the Montreal Airport Hilton. My Father’s construction company built it and it was a favorite haunt of my parents. One evening we all went there for dinner and afterwards my parents met up with a friend of theirs and disappeared. As it turns out he was breaking up with his wife and required some advice. We were left in the lobby to wait for what seemed an eternity and I can remember being frightened that they weren’t coming back to get us. My Sister kept reassuring me that everything was fine but I remember I was very happy to see them and mad that them at the same time.
Most of my earliest memories are of Christmas mornings because they were magical. I believed in Santa until at least 12 and I kind of still believe. I also remember when I was in Grade 3 and one of the neighborhood boys would not allow me to come home at lunch, blocked my way and threaten to beat me up. I was really scared and intimidated. His family lived across the street, a family of three boys. When my Mum found out she marched over there and tore a strip off of Mrs. Fraser. The harassment ceased immediately. Maybe that’s where I learned to be Rambo Mom.
So if I learned anything from these memories it is not to water your bushes with kerosene, don’t leave your children alone in hotel lobbies, believe in Santa forever and stand up for your children.
Not so bad. What did your early childhood memories teach you?
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Kay,
Regarding the way chemicals were stored back ‘in the day’, we had a pretty simple rule at our house: “If it doesn’t come out of the tap (or garden hose), don’t drink it without permission”. With four kids, a dog, and a stay at home mom, we didn’t help ourselves to anything! And of course we were all deathly afraid of any liquid that was kept under the sink, in the garden shed, or in the furnace room (or on Dad’s bar). Like you, I remember my Dad keeping gasoline for the lawn mower in an old gallon wine jug.
Sean, looks like you and I are the only ones reading this post who had childhood memories. Thanks for sharing. I also remember driving while sitting on my Dad’s lap which is deathly dangerous but we didn’t think so then. Funny I remembered something yesterday because it happened to my friend’s daughter. I had conjunctivitis in both eyes which closed them completely and I woke up so scared I came running down the stairs into my parents bedroom screaming “I’m blind I’m blind”. Always a drama queen.
Hi!
So now you got another company here coming in trying to say something . Wow! I read the whole articles and am glad that you grew up and succeed in life. This is what matters most, whether we were being abused or scared during our younger days does not matter so much if we finally become successful in life as sometimes through all the pains, a person will turn out to be a much better person in the end.
I had my dark story too, I am still trying hard to be a good writer in order to tell my tale, hopefully to get it all out of my chest once and for all in a book the many bad experiences through many disatisfaction treatments received from some of my family members, I mean bigger brothers and bigger sisters during my childhood days.
During this tender age, I believe this are the fragile period of learning process and so a child should be shown and taught all the love and care especially with proper guides and supports during the growing up period. I was not shown love by the eldest, I am from a big family of 10, 3 eldest brothers, 2 eldest sisters, 3 younger brothers and 1 younger sister who is the youngest. The age gaps are 2 years difference, only when it reached me, the gap is 4 years difference from a brother before me with 6 and 8 years difference from the two eldest sisters with 10 and 12 years difference from the two eldest big brothers!
Instead, I was being bullied and abused resulted turning me into a very timid and reserved child once-upon-a-time and always scared of others including my classmates, just name it, anybody. My second eldest sister used to hit me a lots until I grew bigger. Sadly, when I was in my teen and even started working at the age of 20 or so, she would take side and always made believe that I am always the bad one if I had a misunderstanding with my youngest sister who is 8 years younger than me. I was always being targetted and being made miserable!
They have turned my life upside down even to this very day and now since all are adults they practised double-standard and only get together with those established members. I do not give a damn about all these sick behaviour but what I could not stand is most of them have swindled me! They sold the house which was supposed to be under my name the many instalments was paid by me. This was the house where my late mum, me and another younger unmarried brother were living. It was in the process of changing into my name and this unmarried brother (It was my late mum wishes depending on my 2nd eldest brother to solve things so that the house belong to me & another brother and we could continue living there if she is not around but no will was written). My mum thought that everything was in order when she was still alive because we went to see a lawyer to sign some documents, the house was bought using my eldest brother’s name who did not even contributed a cent in this property! It was a foul play, my 2nd brother hired his friend who is a lawyer to postphone the process for his own agenda and my late mum trusted him so much. He listened to his 2nd wife who had also play the role of making my life miserable when I was living with my late mum. I am not married thus staying my mum in a way looking after her too as she was getting older. I have tried shifted out of the house several times, but my late mum came begging for me to come back.
When my mum passed away, the 2nd eldest brother who is doing well in life, sold this house and gave the share to all 10 of us, even to those who are already married and established and owned good homes, with luxury cars and my youngest sister even owned a company, his husband owned another company and their second son own another company. Wow! aren’t they greedy or what? They made me feel like I am the ugly duckly! First, they mold my character to become timid and frightened when I was growing up, then when I get better exposures during my working period, still they continue abusing me, but this time in a different manner.
I was once being abused financially by my second eldest sis’ second son, both parents managed to sweet talk me about some shares I believe it was a scam, earlier I lost RM11.400.00 and then the son approached me again saying that in order to get back on track to get back what was lost, he needed another RM7,000.00 and requested for cash cheque, a week later, nothing happened, no feedback nothing whatsoever with a total silence. When I called to checked it seems his manager ran away with the money! And when I requested for him to make a police report, the whole family just put on a deaf ears. I believe that I have been played out all along since childhood. If I were to make a report, then my nephew would be detained.
What I wrote here is nothing! I have gone through the worst, and now I am still living my life picking up bits and pieces through all the mess and hardships mostly created and caused by them since early age!
Apart from being abused by my own family members, most of their wives and husbands too joined in to bring misery to my life. I ought to learn how to write well in order to bring out all my grievances and guide the innocent not to fall into the same nightmares!
I laughed when I read the story about your mother being “rambo-mom.” When I was being bullied by a kid at school, my mother found out where he lived, and went and gave his parents a hard time. It never happened again. Of course, what I didn’t know is that she used to follow us in her car on our walks to school every morning just to be sure we were safe. She didn’t want us to feel like we couldn’t walk in our neighborhood, but she also wanted to make sure we were taken care of.
Lily, thank you for sharing your story. How sad that your family is not your refuge. All of our experiences contribute to the people we become. I hope you will find peace. Remember success is the best revenge.
Sandra, such is Motherhood. I totally understand why she did that. I remember when my eldest got beat up at school in early elementary and was crying when he came home. I wanted the beat up the little creep. Plus I didn’t help the situation because I told my son he couldn’t fight at school. So I told him to tell the little monster he would meet him in the field after school. Surprise surprise he didn’t show up and that was the end of that.