This week I ventured to the capital of the United States, Washington DC. I took a flight from Montreal to Dulles International on a Regional Jet. Since I was an employee of an airline for 20 years, I have experienced my share of turbulence over the years but never like this. About halfway through the flight we started to experience serious turbulence. People were hanging on for dear life and as this was happening I was thinking about all the people who have died in aircraft accidents over the years, not the least of which the 9/11 victims. Also I was alone with no one to share my fear so my imagination could go to the extreme limits of the situation. I was also thinking I really hadn’t wanted to make the trip. Had I ignored my own intuition?
As we were being jockeyed around I was thinking about my family and my friends and that if we did crash that I hoped the end would come quickly and that it would not be painful or at least not for long. But more than that I was thinking I was not ready, although I’ve fulfilled my responsibilities as a Mother, I want more time. I want more time to spend with my husband, boys, grandchildren, dogs and friends. (the order is not a mistake, I really love my dogs and it depends on the friend). I would imagine that patients faced with a terminal illness diagnosis feel the same. They want more time. Some think why me? But in reality, why not you? Some people believe if they eat right, exercise, go to Church; take care of their families bad things shouldn’t happen to them. I can attest to this that they do anyway. Shit happens. We all know that bad things happen to good people and that nothing happens to some very bad people. Then there are those who believe everything happens for a reason and I think this is a way for people to feel that some entity in some form is in control instead of accepting the randomness of the universe. I think it makes them feel better and if so, good for you! I actually hope you’re right.
I’ve worked very hard all of my adult life and certainly no one should feel sorry for me because I am blessed. I would like to be able to take things a little easier, reduce the stress and smell the roses more often. As you can imagine I was very glad to get home to my little life grateful that I have some more time….
My husband’s family believe that when your name is “at the top of the list”, that’s it, you’re a goner.
Do you believe in fate and destiny? Or do you leave it all in God’s hands to control?
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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
I really enjoyed reading your post and it’s made me think about things. Not to sound confused or anything, but I believe that it’s a bit of both…there’s destiny at play and then I also believe that God is in control
I guess I’m kind of a 50/50 girl. Have a great weekend.
Kay things happen for a reason…nobody know what’s behind the reason but at the end of our days I believe we understand it a little better. The legacy we leave behind is what really counts most.
Interesting topic! But you only left us with one question since “destiny” and “fate” (Fates; mythical personifications of destiny) are considered to be controlled by a divine presence (God’s will). Would the opposite be “circumstance”?
To your husband’s point, was the fact there no fatalities on the ‘Gimli Glider’ or the Air Transat flights due to circumstance (such as the former due the availability of a landing strip, the latter due the flight being off its normal course) or were all the passengers and crew simply just not at the top of the list (therefore the circumstances themselves were due to destiny)?
Dori, thanks for your input. I think I’m a 50/50 girl myself.
Dotane,
You are such a good person. I hope you’re right.
Sean, you are too deep for me. I give up.
For me it’s in God’s hands…..coz no matter what we do with our lives if it’s not according to His plan, we end up unhappy and dissatisfied. Yea, you make all the rules and do everything you want to do to get to the top and to be where you want to be, and then when you reach there, are you really happy ? or are you satisfied ? Or are you craving for something meaningful even though you already achieved everything you wanted? It means, the place where you are now you wanted to be isn’t really the place God want you to be.
I believe that because no matter what I do to achieve what I wanted, either there is an obstacle that tells me to stop or go another way, or I end up unhappy even though I was already there.
For us Christians, God allows you to make your plans but you ask Him to bless them. Because if He does not, it was never His plan too. He has greater plans for you.
I’m inclined to believe it is luck or more appropriately randomness. Shit just happens. I don’t find comfort in a god that has control such as this and then uses it willy nilly and to top it off doesn’t tell anyone why he (or she) did it. I’m glad you were safe and got a little more time.
Oh I may add, we are here on this earth not to take up space but rather to contribute to it—and that is why I believe that whatever we do to attain our self-centered desires, upon realizing it, we’re never gonna be happy.
I believe that we all have free will. Whether we choose to exercise it or not is the question. It’s my own personal opinion that when you “let go and let God” you abdicate any responsibility you should have taken for your actions or inactions. It is also my opinion that many more people should not act as sheep, but question everything they are told by anyone in authority. Not with anger, violence or anything of the like, but by educating themselves so they can make the most informed decisions.
A guy once told me that he believed we (people) were all shot out of a “cosmic cannon” at birth, and from there on, it’s a matter of hazard who and what we bumped into. He believes that no one gets to choose anything in life, except what they want to take away from each experience.
Personally, I have a hard time accepting that things are set, but it’s hard to argue these kinds of things. I’d rather think that we drift together and apart magnetically, that were drawn to situations, events, and places by a combination of emotions, gravity, circumstance, and maybe even a little karmic energy. I also believe that we make our own destiny subconsciously at times, that we individually or collectively make things happen without realizing it.
Great topic, Kay.
Jason I am so glad you are “back on your feet” and ready to weigh in as usual. Maybe some day we will find out which it was. Maybe there are those we have lost looking down (or up) at us laughing their faces off because we can’t get it right. I find it hard to believe that everything is controlled. I think we do have some responsibility in the grand scheme of things. Keep well, I need you.
Carol, I tend to agree with you. It is a might too easy to leave everything to God and live a crappy life to repent at the end and go to heaven. What’s with that! I’m a big believer in choice and not making a choice is a choice. I like to tell the story about someone who wants to go to the store but can’t decide but now it’s 5:50 and it takes twenty minutes to get to the store so the non choice was the choice. Sometimes people get annoyed with me because I like people to make a choice and take responsibility for it. You may make the wrong choice and you can either decide to make it the right one or do something about it. Thanks for commenting on one of my favorite topics - choice.
Bingkee, your argument is well supported by the rich and famous. All of their needs are taken care of and they are miserable. They turn to drugs, alcohol, etc to find happiness because their basic struggle to survive is not a struggle. I can tell you when I save to buy something or in the case this week of my paying for my son’s surgery to correct his eyesight, I am very grateful and happy I can do this. I have a dear friend who thinks like you, to give it all up to God and certainly I do believe we have a responsibility to our children and our world to be responsible and good people. I guess I feel we have to be personally accountable which is not in conflict with your views. Thank you for participating in the discussion.
I do believe in destiny and I also believe in God.
I feel if we work hard, we can try changing our destiny for the better. But we can not just sit and relax that thinking if I have it in my destiny, I will get big things in life, That ways a person will not achieve anything. Its like - doing effort is necessary even if we believe in destiny….
Raj you described my feelings exactly. Thanks for sharing. I will check out your website. Cheers
Received this quote this morning in my email:
“If you can’t change your fate, change your attitude.”
–Amy Tan,
American author
Thanks Sean, this is probably my most important advice to people. Tune to week after next’s post that will definitely give your an attitude check. Thanks for sharing and for being such a great supporter of thekayway and me.