This week a friend of mine sent me this.
“First I was dying to finish high school and start college. And then I was dying to finish college and start working. Then I was dying to get married and have children. And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough for me to go back to work. But then I was dying to retire. And now I am dying and I forgot to live.“
Holy cow, that’s me. That’s my life. Not that I didn’t enjoy along the way but not nearly enough. I was so busy being a good wife, daughter, mother, employee and friend I lost myself somewhere along the way. I was busy planning for the next phase of my life. It is very hard because I truly believe in service to others. Our world is in such a mess because of the relentless narcissism, the me me me culture. Today the news is filled with a teenage girl being gang raped while 20 people looked on. How can this be? Have we lost all of our humanity, decency, compassion?
To a certain extent it is normal to want to move to the next phase of our lives. I can remember wanting to be old enough to live my own life, make my own choices although my parents supported my choices wholeheartedly. I was very independent but my Dad liked that about me.
I remember a friend of mine was married and her husband had them on such a tight budget to pay off their house that caused such stress they ended up divorcing and having to sell the bloody house.
Dogs definitely have it right. They live in the moment. Even if they are abused once they get into a good situation and build trust they move on. Too bad people are not as resilient as our doggie friends. We drag along our baggage behind us like a U-haul.
Let’s work to (I almost said “try” but trying is so pathetic) enjoy and appreciate the present in our lives. Sounds simple but it takes work. Whether you’re at work, take pleasure in the completing of objectives or supporting your co-workers. When you are on your way home, take pleasure in the music of your iPod or sound system. When you get home, show your love for your family. Give everyone a hug for no reason other than to enjoy the closeness and express how you feel about them.
Life is so complex or maybe it is only complex because we allow it to be. Eat, sleep, work, learn, and love what else is there? We think of ourselves as sophisticated but the reality is we are just exhausted.
Please don’t let this happen to you. Appreciate the good in your current situation even if it’s not perfect and enjoy every day. If you wait for perfection you are doomed. Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be great!
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Great advice! I do try to do this but don’t always succeed. One exception is I am looking forward to retirement but still trying to enjoy this time in my life too. Every day is an opportunity for learning and enjoying the 24 hours God has given me.
Agreed, one must try and make the most of things in life, but at the same time I believe there is too much emphasis on this fantasy that a “full life” consist of endless globe trotting, fabulous restaurants, and photo albums bursting with pictures of us having oh-so-much fun!. I guess what I’m saying is that there is tremendous meaning and enjoyment right here around us; in dinner with close friends or family, doing some volunteer work, reading a good book, trying some kind of new artistic hobby. I think sometimes there is this extremism with carpe diem that dicates that every moment must be a roller coaster in your life, otherwise you’re doing something wrong or worse, you’re boring.
“Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event” - Oscar Wilde
It’s all about living in the moment and being grateful for what we do have. I know it’s difficult for me sometimes to practice what I preach but when I do, I see things in a whole new light. Great post.