I have become disturbingly aware that we spend an inordinate amount of time criticizing something or someone or for that matter yourselves.
Have you been to church and on the steps some women are criticizing the wardrobe of some of the other women? I know you have and if you don’t go to church, you do go somewhere this happens regularly,
Hey guys, how about when you’re checking out the women when they come through the door of the bar? Enough said; you get the point!
What would happen if we didn’t do that? What if we changed our ways and focused on improving ourselves. Even for the best of us, this is going to be tough. It is such a habit to criticize on some level…
Just for clarity, there are judgments we have to make every day, whether to tell the truth, run a red light, and do our best at work. This is not the same; we have to be able to make judgments to live.
The creed of Optimists International: “Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.”
By fixating on someone else, we lose unrecoverable time that could be devoted to becoming uniquely great. I am quoting HELLOMYNAMEISSCOTT website which is awesome and I’m sure will provide me inspiration for years to come.
So I am going to take the challenge myself. I’m going to write down every time I criticize something or someone. I’m going to have my husband monitor me (he doesn’t know I am going to monitor him) and I will report back next week. I would like to understand how much time I lose doing this myself. It would be great if some of you would participate with me.
Enjoy your week and good luck. That’s positive eh?
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What a great post and I totally agree with you. I would like to think of myself of one who does not judge however there are occasions in which I do. I may not blurt out my judgments or even tell others, yet they are floating around in my mind. It would be so positive and inspirational to just stop judging.
Good luck! I’m not sure I would want to know how many times I was critical of someone or something and I’m not really a critical person!
I appreciate your insights here on your blog.
Joanne, thanks for all the support you are providing myself and my readers. I did make it very far without falling into the criticism trap.
I saw myself in the mirror and said to myself “my you’re looking ugly today”, then not long after I saw my reflection in the patio door, I followed up with a “my you’re looking fat today”. This is really hard.
Lovely post Joanne and I totally agree with you. I found myself being very critical - albeit silently in my head, but critical just the same. Have been making a conscious effort and turning the thoughts around. It is working however takes energy and time. As usual, self development is the key, just as the optimists say.
oh i loved that quote, Kay! i will surely bear that in mind. i sometimes do that and i think it’s now time to go on a change
thank you for this very wonderful post!
What a challenge. I have found myself doing this quite a lot lately and I am not very pleased about it. It will be interesting to reflect on my own behaviour.
Another interesting topic, and a somewhat complex one. I actually believe in such a thing as “healthy criticism”, not quite the same as constructive criticism, but basically the process where we look at each other and at the world around us and say, “Hmm”. I think the spirit of criticism is a positive one, in that it makes us analytical and observant. The trouble, I suppose, is that we all-too-often slip away from intellectual criticism to “bitching”. Emotions will do that to you; take a logical or analytical process from your mind and turn it into an excuse to vent your frustrations and insecurities on others.
Jason, you are bang on. I hate to agree with you but the intent is positive but the behaviour is often negative. I will provide my results on my next blog which will be today or tomorrow. What I have found is I am more shallow than I would like to be. When I see an overweight person in spandex I cringe. She might be the nicest, smartest person on the planet but I judge her by her total lack of fashion sense. Men are even worse because they are visual by nature. When was the last time you saw a great looking guy with a girl who is homely?
I totally agree with you!
Being a teenager, and living with a skin condition, it sometimes gets hard to deal with all the criticism that i get from people that I don’t know, even if it is a nasty stare!
Even though I know what if feels like to be criticized, I honestly do make remarks about other people that I don’t know, even if it’s just in my head. I do this without realizing it, just because it’s sort of like a defence mechanism for me! After reading this, I will definately try harder to catch myself before I say something mean towards someone else. My dad always tells me “Treat others the way you want to be treated”.
Thanks !