It always bothers me to hear, “it’s not fair”. Life is not fair. But somehow we insist with this underlying belief that somehow it should be. The good guys get the girl and ride off into the sunset. Nice people don’t get sick and hardworking, honest people get all they deserve.
I learned this hard lesson when I lost my beautiful Mother at the age of 15.
You often hear children say this. Do them a favor and teach them from a very young age that as long as they are true to themselves and their beliefs that is the measure of a person and that “fairness” often doesn’t qualify as part of the equation. Even if you are a religious person, the bible doesn’t say your life here on earth will be easy or fair. That’s reserved for heaven.
I’ve known many wonderful people who have gotten sick and died and others who could really do everyone a favor and pop off but no, they live to a ripe old age. Why were we born here where most of us have never worried about where our next meal is coming from? At the very least our major life sustaining requirements are met or exceeded. Is that fair, why weren’t we born in Somalia, they really must be wondering how that happened!
You have to find a way to enjoy the good times and be grateful for what you have and stop worrying about things being fair because it is a waste of valuable emotional energy. Life is not fair but for the most part, if you stop expecting it to be, you can appreciate the things you do have.
Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I agree life isn’t always fair, but I also think parents and teachers should try to treat their children and students fairly. When parents and teachers play favorites, it just causes more trouble and jealousy.
Karen, thank you for pointing that out, you’re absolutely right. There are things we can control to be fair and you’ve mentioned two good examples. Parents and teachers have a duty to treat children equitably.
very well said, kay
this is a wonderful article and worth sharing. i hope you’ll allow me to share this in my blog
I completely agree with you. We have to enjoy and be grateful for what we have. The problem is expectations. If we could all learn to shed our expectations we would live happier lives. Great post.
Joanne, you’re right expectations have been a real problem for me.
Take my birthday for example, because I make a big fuss over everyone else’s, my “expectation” was they would do the same.
I have never had a surprise birthday party for example. I would love to have a surprise birthday party. I have given countless ones. So because this was making me uphappy and I don’t like to be unhappy, I have given up my “expectations” regarding my birthday. Now if someone does something it’s a bonus and I am much happier and can enjoy the day and whatever happens happens. As it turns out, I had a fantastic birthday on July 4th and I did not blow it out of proportion in my mind beforehand and therefore I did not set myself up to be disappointed and I wasn’t. Great comment, thanks for writing.
Life is never be absolute fair, but it’s relative fair.
A nice person might not in perfect health, very rich or has long life, but I’m sure he would get firendship, love and concern who is deserved, I think it’s a sort of karmar. Such as, you are always being so kind and caring to everyone, and you got such a happy family and true friends around you. Though you lost your parents, you never stop having love.
Jessie, wow what a great perspective you have. Being an orphan yourself, you know where I am coming from. You’re absolutely right, I am lucky to have such a wonderful family and friends. I wish you to find your happiness. I miss you, please keep writing to me.
Mye, I apologize I missed your comment. By all means you can share my story on your blog. Thanks for stopping by. cheers