Having spent almost 3 years in an out of hospitals caring for my Sister, I’ve heard this comment many times. I always wonder how these people would feel if they were living in a bed paralyzed and their people on the outside “couldn’t handle” coming to see them and making sure they were getting the appropriate care.
I would love for those people to spend a weekend alone in a hospital bed with no visitors to see how important it is to push through this fear and do the right thing.
The other thing that makes me mad when I hear this is. Do you really think I like to go to hospitals? No one in the right mind likes this. But if you love someone, you just do it. Don’t think about it, just put one foot in front of the other until you’re there.
Please think about how you can bring comfort to someone who needs it. You’ll feel great after and it will give you pause to be grateful that you are giving comfort rather than receiving it.
I truly believe in service to each other and this is one that won’t be forgotten.
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Having this past year suffered a harrowing loss in my own (extended) family, this topic has been definitely on my mind. I’m referring to the whole business of illness and death, which I feel that North -American culture can often be very strange and off-putting about.
The sick are often treated or viewed, in my mind, as being a nuisance or an inconvenience. People with serious or terminal conditions either get the “leper treatment” or the patented arched-eyebrows and token “oh, that’s terrible”. Truth is, most people want to run like hell whenever there is talk of death or sickness; and can you blame them? Our society still deals with these realities like they’re accidents or as if they only happen to unlucky people. There is, I believe, a general ignorance and denial saturating these aspects of life. More of the ‘ol head-in-the-sand type stuff.
I think maybe as a society we need to find a way to make hospitals more organic, spiritual, comforting (rather than the disease-ridden-doctor-deprived-glorified-ambulance-tents that they tend to be in Quebec). Somehow as people we need to get back to basics and learn to love and care for each other, be they infirm or dying. And not because Oprah said so but because it’s just the right damn thing to do.
Thank you for this post Kay.
Kay,
You have hit a pet peeve of mine. I was fortunate to be the care giver of my mother,and spent most of my time in the hospital. Most of my childhood was spent in the hospital, and i was lucky enough to be on both sides. Never a nice place to be, but it makes you humble. It can take a situation, and you begin to realize how important a smile can be.
Optimsism, love, and care this can be a great place for good therapy.
It always brings me back to the fundamentals, the basics.
When i read your post, it made me think back. Thanks Kay
Nice to hear from you Anastasia. I was unaware you spent so much time as a child in hospital, thank you for sharing. We do take for granted when we are feeling well and then all of a sudden, it’s gone.
Coming back to the fundamentals is important. How we treat each other is key. We are fragile creatures, we all need nurturing.
My mom and dad were both in the hospital for short stays and I wanted to be there with them as often as I could. Fortunately, their stays were relatively short. My husband though, visited his dad in the hospital every day after work for about a year or more. Like you said, when you love someone, you do what you have to do to help them.