Many people at this time of the year review what has taken place over the last 12 months and think about what they would like to change (magically of course).
We take stock of our weight, relationships, jobs and bad habits. Did you know that more people quit their jobs in January than any other month? We decide which aspects of our lives need improvement and why.
People may flap their gums (my Father’s expression – always liked it) about wanting to start an exercise program, lose weight, go back to school, stop smoking but it is just talk and that’s okay. There is nothing illegal about talking or wishing. It just won’t result in change.
To actually make a major change takes effort and change is hard for us humans. People need to be in pain in order to change, whether it be psychologically, physically or financially.
When you’re ready you will make the change if you truly want it but you have to be ready.
You can’t stop smoking, or drinking or eating badly for someone else. It would be nice if we could but we can’t. We have to reach a point where continuing the behaviour is more difficult than stopping or changing it. It’s great to get help if it’s available but at the end of the day, we are alone to make the choice.
I personally lost significant weight this year and have been exercising regularly; feel much better about myself and have more energy and less achiness. But I have to be constantly vigilant to monitor my eating and force myself to exercise. If I go back to how I behaved in the past, the weight will be back for sure and much faster than the months it took me to lose it. I have done it numerous times before.
My advice to you is to keep things in perspective. Being a smoker or being overweight does not cancel all the other great things about you. I was very hard on myself, much more so than I would have tolerated anyone being to someone I love. I’ve noticed that although many people have noticed my weight loss, the people who truly love me, don’t care. They love me for who I am. I am grateful for that.
All this to say, almost everything is a choice. Your attitude is a choice.
Be true to yourself and when you’re ready to make a change, if indeed you feel one is necessary, you’ll find the courage to make it and if not, that is also a choice and it is yours to make.
The reality (the world according to Kay) is that people do what they want to do.
Happy New Year Everyone
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Great post Kay. It is my opinion that the main issue with “change”, or rather, the problem with the traditional way that people try to affect change is that they set unrealistic goals for themselves. We are collectively victims of too many movies with dramatic montages where a loser becomes a winner in a matter of seconds while some inspirational music ushers them into a supposed new era of existence. The reality is that change, real change, has to come in steps, in degrees. As you say, it is truly matter of choice.; honest, realistic goal-setting. We have to stop setting ourselves up for disappointment by trying to take on the world bare-handed and be kind to ourselves.
Thanks Jason for being my first comment of the year, rather fitting You write very well. I agree we have to be kind to ourselves however, I would say that most of us don’t hold ourselves to a high enough standard.
You’ll want to kill me for this but I’ve recognized that in wanting to ensure our children had high self esteem, we applauded the most minute of accomplishments starting when they were toilet trained. We clapped our hands and called the Grandma’s when they produced in the potty. This is just an example. The result is a feeling of entitlement because the baby boomers provided everything to their children, children did not learn how to fend for themselves. The feeling of entitlement is strong. The really hard things to accomplishment just seem too overwhelming. The reality of the new economy may bring things back into perspective which would be a good thing. The children being born now will live in a much different environment than baby boomers and generation X and Y.
Have a wonderful New Year. I’m sure we’ll meet here again……
Kay - I love the New Year’s resolution discussion. You are bang on with all your comments.